Fun and Maturity

I should be sleeping, but my eyes won't close. Perhaps a drawback from napping earlier. Hopefully by the time I finish this post, I'll be tired enough to knock out until my 9:30 AM class.

I think I'll grow up to be the fun dad/uncle. I love kids. Well, not so much once their age hits a double digit number. Wow, I sound like a pedophile don't I? I've worked as a teacher's assistance for half of the summers I spent in high school. Both times, the kids voted me their favorite TA.

But a friend told me he thinks I'll grow up to be more serious. I shudder thinking about being the stern adult. I've always told myself that I'd never be like that. But, only time will tell how I'll progress. I adamantly wish to believe that I will remain the carefree guy racing friends to the train station after school. But, deep inside...I know I've changed.

I don't waltz around trying to put a smile on everyone's face anymore. I don't crack jokes left and right anymore. I don't do stupid things just so everyone can look back at it and laugh as much anymore.

When did I start to become such a bore? I looked through my old blog and stumbled upon a quote I came up with a while back.

I'm stupid. I'm immature. I'm reckless. But that's what makes me keep trying to be a better person.

In the process of becoming a better person, I resolved to shed my immaturity. I can see I've achieved some levels of maturity since I made this quote in my senior year of high school. I remember I was tired of being seen as the clown. I was tired of being a stupid little kid.

I was gonna make a list of pet peeves and tie it into what I was saying, but it didn't flow well. Pet peeve list will be on the list of things to blog about.

Awesome to Awful

From pure relief to pure disappointment. This past week has been filled with its ups and downs. I thought this past finals week was going by pretty nicely. Of course I was freaking out when it first started since I had no idea how I was going to manage my time to study.

Three straight nights spent at the library. Four straight days I watched the sun rise with tired eyes.

Out of those four days, I had only one day I got more than 8 hours of sleep. That was between my third and last final. I slept the entire afternoon and woke up to study for my last exam. I felt like I did decent on the other three (don't want to jinx it now) and was prepared to study until my brain fried. Since I missed some lectures (like 1/3 of them) and two film screenings, I had a lot to catch up on.

I wrote down my finals schedule on my calendar and had "ETS 153 FINAL @ 5-7 PM" written down in red for the 17th. I figured I had plenty of time to study. I head over the Physics building where it was being held at 4:45 PM. I see a friend who lived on my floor last year waiting outside the auditorium. I thought he was in my class and say I didn't know he took ETS 153. He said he didn't and he was in physics. I look around and see other people with physics notes and calculators out. He shows me his examination time on his phone. I thus quickly pull out my phone and check MySlice. Surely enough, it tells me that my exam is from 3-5 PM.

I felt my heart sink at that moment. I was too tired to scream. I was too frustrated to think. I ran into the auditorium as the last of my classmates finished their exam. I approached my professor and I couldn't even speak. All I could mutter was "I...uh...muh...missed the exam. I thought it was from 3-5...is there a-any way I can make it up?" He gave me the answer I expected. "No." I thanked him for his time and left with my mind wiping blank. I didn't even know how to react.

I emailed my TA shortly after about the situation and all she could tell me was that I did well enough in the class not to fail. That was the least reassuring thing I could have read. It wasn't failing I was afraid of. I'm confident that I would not fail the class. My lowest grade was a B-. But that didn't mean I wouldn't get a C or D.

I'm just thankful my friends at home here have taken my mind away from this.

In Gratitude and Thanksgiving

We honestly don't need a single day to remember what we're thankful for. Especially if it's a day created in memories of the Native Americans who helped the pilgrims at Plymouth survive, only to be betrayed and kicked off their homes. Anyways, every day should be a day of Thanksgiving.

My list of things to be thankful for:

1. God
   

   Without Him, I'd be nothing.

2. My family
   

   As much as I get annoyed by them, they are still here for me until the end.

3. The Family Pan
   

   I've known most of these guys for pretty much my entire non-Canadian life. I can tell them anything. Any holiday vacations and it would be with them. 4th of July BBQ's and Thanksgiving meals? With the Family Pan.

   

   Dang, 2006...miss these carefree days.

4. KCS: The Grove
   

   I appreciate you all from the bottom of my heart. You guys are my life at Syracuse. Who knows? I might have left SU already if not for all of you. Thank you!
   Special shout out to the "Hungry Hippos"!

5. OCM
   

   As much as I say I want to find a new church at home, everyone at OCM who I've met and talked to has shaped me into the person I am today. You guys were there for me as I rediscovered myself with Christ. You guys watched as I took my baby steps as a Christian. Hopefully, when I'm a stronger, better Christian...I can come back and be the change I want to see.

6. High School Friends
   

   Because of you guys, I didn't want to join any club activities for three years in high school. I just wanted to hang out with you guys after school. I look at our Senior Poster Day poster and see our "Gorilla" sign. Man, were we unorganized for that. Look at the spacing between the letters. But it's all good. Balling at Broadway and eating pho afterwards. Playing DoTA until our brains died. Hope I get to see you all soon.

   

Man, we ugly.

7. The New York Jets
   

   Thank you for giving me a reason to look forward to the Super Bowl. Jets for Super Bowl Champs!